The Donald Sykes Show – December 18th, 2014

Telephone Falls

Instead of a Snow Plow Show today, I'm using this feed to promote my friend Donald's podcast / FM  radio show, who is not me and I don't know why you're making these accusations.

This is called The Donald Sykes Show and it's usually only broadcast on FM 103.6 in Telephone Falls, but they recently started making condensed podcast versions of the show.  This first one features music, some call-ins, and some weird technical difficulties.

Here is some important information about this show:

  • That opening sax song is labeled Take Five and nothing else.  It's the only song in my collection that was labeled Jazz.
  • The background loop you hear throughout the show is called Green Apple Blue and it's by the guy that does all the loops at soundcloud.com/iloveloops
  • Jiad from The Art of Phone Larking plays the part of Officer Ryan Token
  • The song in the middle is Ode To Alderaan by Glenn Case
  • The RoyCo commercial jingle is by freesibs on Fiverr.  The blurb during the jingle is Dwight from the Mop Riding With Dwight show.
  • Most of the interference noises came from The Conet Project, which is a giant collection of recordings of shortwave number stations.  Because why wouldn't I have the entire collection sitting on my hard drive?
  • The Spy Turtle.exe prank was done by Bob Vance.
  • The ending song is called cRaZie$ and it's by I Fight Dragons.
  • The full FM show was much crazier, but legal reasons keep us from posting all of it.
  • The telephonefalls.com website currently redirects to the Telephone Falls YouTube page, so the URL given in the show isn't currently working.

Hope you all enjoy this.  I'll probably make more of them.  But I said that about Telephone Falls too, and that was 2 years ago, so don't trust me.  If I do make more shows, I'll probably put some content on telephonefalls.com/kfall and set up a podcast stream just for this show.  And no, this isn't the new episode of Telephone Falls - that will still happen one of these decades.

rbcp

I run this town.

13 thoughts on “The Donald Sykes Show – December 18th, 2014

  • December 19, 2014 at 4:32 am
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    This was about as bad as any episode with Stacy (Roxy, Ohmgeehax). Could you do us all a favor and delete any show with that boring annoying bitch.

    Reply
  • December 19, 2014 at 7:15 am
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    Maybe some ideas for future apartment pranks.

    You could say I accidently sold your fridge I’m so sorry I could pay half the price for another one.

    I created my own sewer tank but there’s been a problem, it’s leaking.

    You could say I’m not happy with my apartment, there is a cigarette burn on the carpet. the room is too small. (Be very picky about tiny things) The front desk people are too loud.

    Reply
  • December 19, 2014 at 11:14 am
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    Just kidding, the show was hilllllarious!

    Reply
  • December 19, 2014 at 2:26 pm
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    Tell one of the car ding victims that you’re pretty sure that you noticed their car following you around town. Ask if the owner of the car is a private investigator hired by your wife. Then get all defensive and insist that you are not cheating and only went to the strip club that one time for research for your novel. (You can also do a variation of this call where you think it’s your work that hired the private investigator because they suspect that you have been stealing money from the company)

    The license plate on the car offended you (perhaps it’s a slur against your religion) and you left the note so you could call up and explain religious sensitivity to them.

    Your kids scratched the hood of their car while sitting on it for a photo op. They wanted you to take a picture of them sitting on the hood of the car for their Facebook page so that they can pretend that they’re not poor and have a car. If the person gets bitchy insist that it’s a compliment that your kids liked their car because it’s a cool car. Tell them you can’t pay them cause you’re poor, but offer to barter things around the house as payment. Or offer to become their live in maid instead of giving them money.

    You didn’t actually hit their car, you just left your bucket of squids on their car while you went into the store and when you came back your bucket of squids was gone. Then ask them for money/insurance information to replace the squids

    You didn’t really hit their car, your cat climbed under the car and got into the engine and died. You want them to replace your cat.

    You didn’t hit their car, you were selling $200 iPads in the parking lot and left the note to see if they were interested in buying one. You picked their car because it was cheap looking and you thought that they would appreciate a deal.

    You think that your son may be having a romantic/sexual relationship with their car

    You always found that people with their make/model of car were really cool, so you left the note because you want to become friends with them

    You didn’t hit their car, you had just been following them around town because you noticed that they are a very good driver and you want them to give you driving lessons.

    You were hitting golf balls off the roof of their car

    You didn’t hit the car, you just left the note to show your kids the proper protocol for when you do ding a car. Towards the end of the call tell them that your kids are listening to the call because you wanted to teach then about dishonest people who try to scam you out of money.

    You converted their car to hydrogen, their car down runs on water. You did it because it’s better for the environment. You can also do a variation of this call where the car runs on mustard.

    You were geocaching and you thought that their car was the geocache spot, so you were searching for a hidden compartment in the car and scratched it.

    You kicked the car because the car looks like your old bong and it triggered you to smoke weed and got you pissed off because you’re a Christian now and you don’t do drugs, but thjngs like their car keep tempting you and driving you nuts.

    You tried to eat the car because it looked tasty

    You chipped some paint off the car because you liked the color and wanted to have the color so your wife could buy nailpolish of the same color and paint her toenails the same color as their car.

    You unsuccessful tried to break into their car to destroy their gps because you were worried that it is tracking your every move.

    You didn’t really hit the car, you just figured out that you are the person’s long lost brother and thought that this would be the best way to break the ice.

    Your grandma’s wheelchair got out of control and crashed into their car. Eventually tell then that you want them to pay for your grandma’s hospital bills

    You rammed your wheelchair into their car because why should they get to live a full life where they get to drive and walk and everything.

    You dinged their car with your remote controlled toy car

    You landed a drone onto the roof of their car which scratched it.

    A deer ran into the car and dinged it, so you left the note on behalf of the deer.

    Call up and apartment complex and tell them that you have been domesticating wolves in your apartment and one of your wolves escaped and is wondering through the complex

    Reply
  • December 19, 2014 at 9:48 pm
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    That’s a great list of ideas, Jolanta.

    Reply
  • December 20, 2014 at 9:16 am
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    I would rather hear a Donald Sykes show more often, than await a new telephone falls episode every year or longer. Anybody else agree..?

    Reply
  • December 20, 2014 at 10:50 am
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    Yeah I agree with Ben. The animation is fine, but it takes far too much time and too many resources to produce, when ultimately it is superfluous.
    It is the audio that is great, the visuals are unnecessary.

    Reply
  • December 20, 2014 at 3:46 pm
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    Telephone falls episodes should only be one call long. That way we can share them with people who actually might watch them because no one on the Internet has the patience for a 30 minute video.

    Also this way we would get episodes more often than having to wait years for an episode.

    It makes no sense to have the episodes be 30 minutes long and this should be changed.

    Reply
  • December 20, 2014 at 5:49 pm
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    I think that Donald Sykes’ show gave me a better picture of life in Telephone Falls than the Telephone Falls show did. Showing us too much (visually) stops us from using our imaginations.

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  • December 20, 2014 at 8:13 pm
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    This is some shifty Night-Vale shit going on here.

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  • December 20, 2014 at 10:04 pm
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    Glad you’re all enjoying it. It was fun to put together and I’d definitely like to make more. It probably only took me a week total to put together. I probably will start releasingTelephone Falls episodes one at a time, but once I have enough of them done for a 30 minute episode, I’ll still put them all together. I really would like to do more with TF than I did in the original episode. I just wish it were a bit easier to do.

    Reply
  • January 5, 2015 at 3:05 pm
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    Only one word “SuperAwesome”, thanks, Hope the turtle extraction by seal team 6 was a success, i bet it just flew his ass back to HQ after popping 2 rotor blades out his ass, soooo hilarious, i actually prefer “Telephone Falls” show, too bad it requires more time to make

    Reply

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