You might recognize the name Mark Knoffler as the Dire Straits guitarist/singer. That’s the name that this prank caller has taken on in many of his prank calls. This calls are made by a guy in the late 80’s or early 90’s. He seems to call up people completely at random and the calls are brilliant. I received a copy of this tape in 1996.
I was surprised at the lack of Mark Knofler tribute pages on the net. So I’ve set up this page to pay homeage to the classic prank calls of Mark Knofler. If you have any information about Mark Knofler or his prank calls that you think would benefit this page, you can contact me. You can also leave short comments about Mark Knofler on the bottom of this page.
Some of the information on this site was taken from a site that used to sell digitally remastered Mark Knofler CDs. The site was called bchil.net but it disappeared in 2001. But the person who made that site has brought his site back, in 2011! His new website is now called beforethejerkyboys.com and you can once again download his remastered tracks.
Below are the sound clips of the Mark Knofler calls. You can click on the title of each one to listen to it in mp3 format. You’ll notice that the clips are edited so that names and addresses are no longer included. This is how I received the mp3’s and I don’t have the unedited clips. For the purpose of this site, edited clips are probably best anyway. Enjoy the clips! And if you enjoy these prank calls, be sure to check out the Phone Losers of America prank phone calls.
By the way, if you know who “Mark” is, I would love to do an interview with you. I maintain 3 prank call podcasts (PLA Radio, Big Beef Bueno and The Phone Show) and I run an internet radio station that plays prank calls 24/7. I’m sure that a lot of people would love to hear the story behind the calls. If you’re Mark, send me and email. –RBCP (your webmaster)
- THAT’S MY WIFE!! This call is perhaps THE funniest prank phone call EVER !! Mark has Amanda’s husband convinced that she has been sleeping around. Amanda is 6-months pregnant … needless to say, he gets very upset with Mark and wants to meet with him. Mark lets him off the hook and tells him it’s only a prank. But amazingly, he stays on the phone for several more minutes and even wants to shoot him! Madness ensues, and they come to a peaceful agreement. – NOBODY GETS SHOT !! (5:28)
- SHE’S ON HEROIN Mark tries to warn a woman that her mother is on Heroin.
- AUTOMATIC REDIAL Mark gets hung up and must use his new AUTOMATIC RE-DIAL button. He then calls back and gets a taste of his own medicine when the guy tells him where he might find Maragaret.(1:02)
- CARVE MY INITIALS
- SLEEPING Several calls. Must be early, huh? Mark introduces a new character, Craig from work … Ride ’em Fishboy!(1:46)
- PLEASE TRY TO PAY ATTENTION Mark calls Charlie and and asks him if he taped any of the Goodwill Games for him. The tone quickly changes as the alleged tapes change to tapes of Charlie’s wife! It turns out that the wife was also on the phone listening the whole time and all THREE of them argue a bit … (understatement) (4:05)
- SMEGMA PICNIC “What the hell do you mean by telling my daugther she can’t be in the class play?” “Are ya gonna have a picnic?” Does he really call back and say, “Hi … It’s me again, prank phone call. So, what’s up?” and talk for a full minute ?? Wow ! (Mark also uses his now-infamous AUTOMATIC RE-DIAL) (1:28)
- MARK WHO? “I wanna know, who’s talking to me?” Mark’s zany antics have once again gotten him into a bit of trouble. (1:28)
- BROILED LOBSTER TAIL Mark introduces himself as an old friend of the family to Monica and pries more and more information out of her and tells her to wake her mother up. When Cindy(the mother)comes to the phone, Mark makes small talk and invites her and her husband to dinner. What do you think Mark intends to have? (5:20)
- NO, WINNIE … DON’T GO !! Mark intoduces himself rather rudely in this one … a classic Knoffler.(0:25)
- LET ME FILL YOU IN … Mark calls and Marie thinks that he is George. Of course, Mark plays along and extracts more information out of them. Mark talks to Nancy and her husband. Her husband is a very dumb guy. Eventually, Mark tells him that it is a prank and the guy is actually ready to put his wife back on with him. The husband says, “You’re not gonna talk that way to her, are ya?” – WOW !!(3:59)
- MODEL RELEASE FORMS In this one, Mark confuses Bertha by asking her about some photographs. He extracts some information and gets to talk to the husband, who is expecting photos of a group of school children. Of course, Mark is talking about the naked pictures of Bertha …(a classic) (3:16)
- PRETTY CLEVER, EH? This call involves Christmas lights and erector sets. Where can he go with this lead-in?(2:21)
- RETROACTIVE WASTE Disguised as Don Gretzky from the DNRAC. Mark wants to use this guy’s basement to store toxic waste. When told “NO”, he gets curious as to what he is keeping down there. (1:14)
- YOU SELL IT Mark is looking for some illicit items and thinks Pearlina can hook him up … She and her husband disagree. Is this guy deaf or what? (2:20)
- PUT PAM BACK BACK ON Mark tries to get a date for the evening and she tells him he has the wrong person … (I think he already knew this) Finally – the loud music treatment! Why didn’t anyone else think of that? (2:35)
One question fans of this prank caller are always asking is who is Mark? Where does he live? When were the calls made? Does anyone know who the actual prank caller is? We don’t have all the answers here, but the best we can do is lay out the facts.
Where do the calls take place? At least some of the calls take place in or around Dover, Delaware. Some people insist that Mark is from Texas because of his accent and because they think Texas is the only state with a city called Odessa. But there is also an Odessa in Delaware and there are references throughout his calls to the Dover, Delaware area which is just 26 miles from Odessa (see “3” on map below). There’s even a Charlie Knighton listed in the phone book in Dover (see “1” on map). And he mentions the “Coral Reef” in one call, which is a restaurant located in Little Creek, Delaware (see “2” on map), which is just 4 miles from Dover. Mark is definitely in the Dover area.
1. Dover, Delaware – there is a listing for Charlie Knighten in this city.
When were these calls made? Based on the feedback we’ve received from other fans of Mark on this site, we think these calls were made in the mid-to-late 1980’s. Most people claim to have first received the tape in the late 1980’s and many people say it was floating around their college for years. Some people have tried to claim that his calls from the 60’s or 70’s, but this can’t be true since Mark references modern 80’s things, such as automatic redial, VCRs (taping the Goodwill games) and touch tone dialing.
Feel free to post your own comments about the Mark Knofler page by using the form below. If you’d prefer to make a general comment about phonelosers.org, try signing our guestbook instead. Or visit our forums.
03/01/06 – Tom from TN: Yeah, put them ‘focals on so you can see who I am…
02/27/06 – dighdown from Ballard: Thanks for posting this. I’ve been listening to my cassette copy of this for about 15 years and no finally I can retire it and put in the CD. Bravo.
02/17/06 – Shawn from San Diego: SUBJ: Racial element to Charlie call. I have read through this board and not seen any mention of the original, unedited version of the Charlie Knighton call containing MK calling Charlie a nigger. In the tapes I got (way) back in the late 80s, I distinctly recall MK calling Charlie a dumb fucking nigger. But, on this version the n-word is cut, even though it is used frequently on this call by MK. This can help to explain why Charlie and his wife get so upset and racial in their counter-attac
02/03/06 – HELLBILLY from VIRGINIA: FIRST HEARD THESE IN ’87 WHEN I WORKED AT THE PLANT… MARIJUANA PLANT.
02/02/06 – Chris B Critter from Vian, OK: I have been telling people about (the other) Mark Knofler for years (decades!!) and never had much info to back it up except a copy of a copy of the fuzzy cassette imaginable–THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
01/12/06 – Craig from Philadelphia: These tapes are the best, too bad the names are scrambled, they are often the best part of the clips! Amanda White!!! Charilie is the man.
01/12/06 – Doug from Brooklyn: YES! The classic Mark Knofler tapes have been found. Haven’t heard these since early 90s when I was in grade school. I too had the tape with Charlie Knighten and Amanda White along with oldschool Jerky Boys recordings. My friend Craig and I have listenened to Mark Knofler so many times we know them by heart. The best ever – Married? Amanda’s married? WHO IS THIS?
01/05/06 – D’Bri from Boston: I was just talking to my friends about these, I ahven’t heard them in over 15 yrs…BRILLIANT!
12/28/05 – Jack from UK: Wow first time i ever heard them pranks and they are the best ive ever heard. I need to find the original fast.
12/24/05 – Keifer from La: Hey, Don G, I have that Natalie one, but I’m not about to put my email addy up. Give me a way to contact you and I’ll send it to you.
12/19/05 – Billy from Easton,Pennsylvania: I heard this back in the 1980’s, My tape had the Amanda and Charlie pranks and then some early uncensored Jerky Boys stuff on it.These are the best.
12/19/05 – Don G from DNRAC: I got this in 89-90.It was one side of a 90 min tape.Everything posted here was on it except for parts of SLEEPING & SMEGMA PICNIC.Half the calls were in alphabetical order (he was just going down the phone book).One of the funniest calls was to NATALIE.It was similar to THATS MY WIFE!! only MK never tells the guy its a prank.I lost my tape but two guys on this site quote it.If anyone has a copy please post it.
12/13/05 – S from North Carolina: I heard this first in 1990 in Cincinnati. It spread like wildfire through highschool. To this day I liberally use MK quotes.
12/11/05 – Justin from Where I’m at: This brings back such loving childhood memories. I remember sitting around with my family listening to this. Thank you. :)
12/11/05 – Dalton from Kentucky: First heard MK at U.K. in 1990. I almost ripped out a stitch regarding the erector set! MK is brillant.
12/07/05 – BF from St. Louis: Wow this takes me back. In 1990 I was a college freshman at Miami University and a buddy gave me a muffled casette with Amanda White and Charlie Knight(?). My life’s ambition was to go to Putty division just north of Odessa, right there on Federals…burg Street.
12/06/05 – Cyrus from Washington D.C.: I got a copy of this tape in 1990 when I was in college in Fredericksburg, VA. Got it from some buddies that went to UVA in Charlottesville. It became a huge hit with everyone I played it for. The rumor at the time was that MK was a student at UVA and that he made the calls from his dorm room. After checking into it I’m sure that was not true. There is no Odessa, VA and Mellon Bank was not operating in Virginia then. I thought it might be Odessa, TX – but it wasn’t. So I guess it’s Odessa, DE…
12/06/05 – Tom from Tenn.: Great to find your site. Mark is the best. I first heard these calls at ETSU in 1993. The Amanda White call is priceless! My two favorite lines of Mark’s:
12/02/05 – Todd from Castle Rock, CO: I have no idea how my little brother’s buddy got a hold of this tape in the early 1990s but it soon became a huge hit in the neighborhood. Eventually the tape became a legend throughout my high school. Today I thought about the tape on the way home from work and called my brother and left him a message saying She was a.. wha? Hugh? He called me back a few minutes ago quoting Charlie Knightin. I just sent him the link to your site and I’m sure we will both be cracking up for days to come!
12/01/05 – chip from raleigh: no joke, my cousin found this tape in a display tape player at sears back in the early 90’s. i dubbed several copies for my friends and this has been a source of humor for years now!
12/01/05 – jmoo from NC: Why is some of this stuff edited out??? I’ve got the original versions of a couple of these.
11/29/05 – joe from in dc: Finally! The REAL Mark Knopfler! There are still some missing though… I might even have one (and a couple of better quality copies of a couple of these.) If I find it them I will send them to you.
11/26/05 – Derek Lotek from LA: HA!!! I was just telling a friend about this last night. Well, I first heard it tagged on to a band’s demo from Virginia named Brain Salad (G-Dead type jam thing) in the fall of 1990. I thought that it was a friend of theirs, and considering the timing, it might have been. I started hearing it again in emails later on when the net took off. I literally laughed til I cried when I heard “Well, what do you expect me to do?” “I expect you to hang up. This is a prank.”
11/19/05 – LOUIE from LOUISVILLE: I THOUGHT I’D LOST THESE FOREVER….THANKS!!!!
11/16/05 – OS from BWANKEYVILLE: I rammed my head up my ass laughing so hard!
11/16/05 – Milkshake from Loserville: Knofler is King~!
10/27/05 – Duvall from Madisonville, KY: Had the tape in High School and lost it. Loved the calls, thank goodness there is someone out there who held on to it and put online. Thanks!!!!!
10/14/05 – k.b. from central, New Jersey: “You do sound serious…..” This is the ultimate old school prank tape. Only copy was lost back in ’96. “Strippin’ Down to the bare nakedness!”
10/09/05 – Demetre from Lynchburg: Rhiloh, I remember having those pranks committed to memory, first we just had Amanda White and Charlie Knighten and later we got most of the rest of these, nice!
09/27/05 – Ellis from Charlotte, NC: Been looking for the tape for months and finally decided to look online for this. Thanks for posting.
09/18/05 – Steve from Coppell, TX: I first heard “Mark’s” work in 1993 when I was at the University of Texas. A guy who lived down the hall from me at my dorm had a tape with the Amanda White and Charlie Knighten calls on it. My roommate and I then started calling everyone we knew to come up to our room to listen to it, and to a man, everyone who did was in tears from laughing so hard. My best friend and I still quote lines from the calls to this day as inside jokes.
09/18/05 – rob from North Carolina: no, shit man this bitch will fuck anybody…ohh, hello is amada there? first heard this in my dorm at East Carolina University back in 92. cool to hear all these classics again.
09/15/05 – CL from Blacksburg VA: Holy Shit!!! I haven’t heard these calls since I was in 8th grade. This dude I knew made a bootleg tape of them and gave them to me, and I thought is was the funniest shit I’d ever heard. Then I let my dumbass brother use the tape and some guy stole it. It’s great to hear them again…Thank God for the internet!!
08/18/05 – David from Indianapolis: absolutely hilarious! Thanks for all the laughs.
08/08/05 – IUFAN from Indiana: These cassette tapes used to circulate all over the dorms at IU back in 89′!
07/21/05 – Dennis Bonifer from Louisville, KY: I heard these first back in 89 while at UK, and couldn’t get enough of them, in particluar the Amanda, aka Mandy, White and Charlie Naaaaaayton. A couple of years back I busted out a quote at work and 2 of my co-workers started cracking up and we started talking about the tapes. They had heard them from their college days too. It amazes me how the tapes were passed on.
07/19/05 – donzine from NYC: I got this tape in High School in the late 80’s in Connecticut and we listened to this tape to death over playing nintento techmobowl. I just thought of it for no apparent reason, but googled MK and “please try to pay attention” and there you have it.
06/29/05 – you better go get you some help bitch from Chi-Town: You better not ever say that!!!!! this sht is the best, i used to own this tape when i lived in ohio! Deleware no question, this has been deciphered
06/22/05 – Keifer from La: Charlie would probably fall for the same exact gags, being that he’s even older now, “who is this” “i want to know where you got this number”….hehe, like it was some conspiracy or something
06/20/05 – Howard Hughes from LA, cA: If Charlie Knighten is still alive and still stupid enough not to make his number unlisted, he deserves a good prank call. someone should use the exact transcript of the original call by MK.
06/16/05 – BOB from Kentucky: I LOVE it when Nick brings it down, I hear it every year at 3 in the frickin morning
06/13/05 – Brad from AL: I remember these calls from the early 90’s – hilarious. To those who think Charlie is probably dead now: Look up Charlie Knighton on Garfield Dr. in Dover – it’s listed on any public directory. Coincidence?
06/10/05 – Riz from Decatur, Il: I’ll go down on you pussy!!!!!! Funny shit
06/10/05 – MARIE from from the plant..the marij: “oh i always drink
06/10/05 – MK from your speakers: it’s just a prank, hang up
06/10/05 – hatter from nyny: “I know but who are you?”
06/10/05 – ZEPPIE0802 from Decatur, IL: Ahh the memories. The crickets chirping, the glow of campfire coals, and those six wonderful words out of nowhere; “I’LL GO DOWN ON YOUR P***Y!: I got this tape from a guy in Indiana when I was in Spain. I in turn handed it over to my brother in 1995, whom has worn the grooves out of it. Classic classic pranking.
06/06/05 – hatter from NYNY: “Where’s Margaret?” “Up my ass?”
06/01/05 – Chappy from Columbia, SC: Finally i found it again. I heard this back in 1990. Funny SHIT!!!
06/01/05 – hatter from NYNY: “Who in the hell is it?”
05/29/05 – Uncle Zev from Charleston, SC: I first heard this tape my freshman year at college of charleston in 1993, from my roomate joe……..lots of bong hits and brain cells wasted on this tape, but its a classic. and my lunatic roomate park p parker would run around reciting this all day long…..it also inspired us prank calling one dude from our dorm who moved out…….and getting the code to his answering machine and changing the message locally to something about anal sex that his grandmother got……ahh the good ol days….
05/29/05 – Mark Duke from Austin: The restaurant mentioned in Broiled Lobster Tail, The Coral Reef, is in Little Creek, Delaware!
05/27/05 – dan from NJ: He doesn’t say Laydonnas Loos, he says, Lay Down THose Moves! at least thats what it sounds like to me.
05/25/05 – Nope, guess again. from Mellon Bank: I got this tape in Massachusetts during high school around 1990. It’s the best! I’d love to buy these calls uncensored….Moon-yiga.
05/25/05 – Magna from England: I love MoMo
05/24/05 – MoMo from Pittsburgh: I have a boner.
05/22/05 – Mark from Nerk, Ahia: Takes one to know one. MMMinda? Wanna Buy some crank? No? How ’bout some acid? What you don’t do drugs anymore??? Knopfler provided the CVV crew many a drunken laugh in 1992.
05/18/05 – hatter from NYNY: “I dialed automatic redial.”
05/14/05 – Keifer from La: “They don’t give a damn ’bout no trumpet playing band, it’s not what they call rock -n- roll.”
05/12/05 – prajesh from bangalore-India: why did you stop making music like sultans of swing?
05/03/05 – shoonvii from Kentucky: Wow, so cool to find others across the country that have heard this. This tape made the rounds with my friends in high school in the late 80s/early 90s and I even managed to hold onto a copy. My tape only has 4 pranks, so there’s a bunch I haven’t heard. I ran into a local that heard the tape, and they claimed to know the creator, as did the guy that gave me the tape, and both “creators” were different people – it seems everyone who gives out the tape claims to know the real MK.
04/22/05 – hatter d from NYNY: On the matter of Mark and his victims’ accents, I think that anywhere where you have red necks, you have accents like this. However, I’ve looked at the maps. These tapes were made in Deleware.
04/21/05 – Amanda White from North of Cheswald: What do you mean by telling my daughter she can’t be in the class play? YOu’re barking up the wrong tree is what you are.
04/18/05 – Howard Hughes from LA: How about that guy on the Natalie track. That guy can barely speak english. “Natalie please!” ajfkdlajfdklsa;fjds in church. akdl;ajfdkls;ajfsd afternoon when they get back. ajkdlf;ajfdklsa; make love. Who you talkin bout?”
04/15/05 – kevimetal from usa: Hey Mike D from Kentucky, no thanks to you for posting that bullshit, either you’re lying or your friend is lying to you. We’ve already established that MK is from Delaware.
04/12/05 – Howard Hughes from LA: Low down dirt ball, your story was believable until the part about Odessa TX. Change that part to Odessa, DE. Then, you’ll have a believable story. At least, we have a name. Did Tim Jewit have any ties with Deleware? “You did so say you wanted ’em set up!”
04/12/05 – LOW DOWN DIRT BALL from CLEVELAND, OH: I knew this guy who went to John Carroll and said he knew Mark and was present for some of the calls. According to him, Mark’s real name was Tim Jewitt. They had met at a community college in Odessa, TX and played together on John Carroll’s rugby team. He said Tim went on to do some radio work at WJR in Detroit. The legitimacy of my source is ?able, but his story matches some details I see here.
04/12/05 – Keifer from La: Kentucky? Haha! Mark was too cool to be from Kentucky…..SOME SHMUCK “You talkin’ about something that’ll get you in trouble if I catch you makin’ love” MARK “Oh, well you won’t catch us”
04/11/05 – Howard Hughes from LA CA: Hey Mike D., we’ve heard it all before. BLAH BLAH BLAH…I know Mark K…He’s from Alberta, CA…Blah blah blah… We’ve made one finding on this site. Mark made his calls in Deleware. There are referenes of Newark, Cheswald, and Odessa Deleware. How can Mark be from Kentucky if he made the calls in Deleware? I’m confused. He even says that he isn’t making long distance calls. “I know, but who are you?” This is craig..I’m craig.
04/10/05 – Mike D. from KY: This tape was made in the late 1980’s at a small university in western KY. The guy making the calls is a good friend who is from KY. It has always amazed him, and those of us who knew about it from the get go how many people want to claim that they made this tape. As far as the author of this tape is concerned, that is wonderful, and I can tell you that he wishes there were more people to claim that they ,made it too.
04/07/05 – jim from wilmington de: “Have you been drinking again?”
04/05/05 – Howard Hughes from L.A. CA: I’ve had email conversations with Mark Knofler fans. We agree that at the time of the tapes, mark was from Deleware. My theory is that he’s gone on to bigger and better things. One day, he’ll come out and claim his work on a web site after Charlie and Laydonna, Amanda and her wife die. That’s what happened with those dudes who did the tube bar tapes. After Red (Moe from the Simpsons is based on him) died, they released their names. lol
04/04/05 – jeremy lays down those blues!! from ohio: yeah Mike B. that site totally blows
04/01/05 – Charles from newark, De: Jose, if you don’t like, get your ass off. And, don’t come back. Don’t give you your phone number, or we’ll prank call you just like our hero Mark Knofler. “No, this isn’t long distance call.” I’m in total agreement with kevimetal. However, this might lead us to the real Mark Knofler. Who did this web site?
03/31/05 – jose from long beach: gAY AS WEB SITE
03/31/05 – kevimetal from usa: Mike B, negative props for posting a link to CENSORED Mark Knopfler mp3s.
03/31/05 – cb from atlanta: i have acquired the ENTIRE knopfler CD, all 17 tracks…If you want it, email me at email@example.com.
03/30/05 – Charlie Knighten from Newark De: Charlie: I don’t know you, Motherfucker. Mark: I don’t know you. Charlie: Then, why the fuck did you call me for then?
03/29/05 – Mandy White’s husband from Odessa, DE: You mean Mandy White? Look, that’s my wife! Mark says, “She didn’t say she was married.” Classic
03/27/05 – PeteTheToad from Birmingham: U da man, Mike B. I figured somebody would find more if I kept coming back to this site. There are more somewhere. Please post if you find them.
03/27/05 – Mike B from Austin Texas: I got cut off there- anyways, I did a whole lot of internet searching and I found a website that has the Knopfler calls to listen to online: the site is www.mp3it.com/artist.php?artist_id=49 EVERYBODY SHOULD GIVE ME PROPS FOR THIS FIND!!!!!!
03/27/05 – Mike B from Austin Texas: Everybody here owes me BIG TIME – I found a website that has more Knopfler calls
03/21/05 – retardo from Cleveland, OH: “I’m Cindy’s boyfriend. Soon to be live in boyfriend. How ya doing?”
03/15/05 – Ed C. from Lebanon, OH: I heard this tape back in 89-90 and loved every second.
03/14/05 – DAVID from NORTH CAROLINA: HEARD THESE PRANKS IN ’89 FROM A FRIEND AT PRIVATE SCHOOL IN VIRGINIA – I WAS TOLD THEY WERE MADE IN VIRGINIA, COMIC GENIUS
03/12/05 – Keifer from La: “Hi, it’s me again, prank phone call. So, what’s up?”
03/11/05 – Monica from Newark, DE: Mark: “Aww…I must have the wrong number all together. What are you doing today?”
03/09/05 – Charlie K. from south of Cheswald De.: Whoever Mark K. is…He should make up a website devoted to the tape just like the guys who recorded the Tube Bar tapes. Then, he could sell the tapes on line. It’s so long ago; I bet Mark K could get consent for all of the taped calls. Hell Charlie Knighten and Laydonna Knighten are probably dead by now. Amanda White has divorced that prick who married her too. “What? Where do you wanna meet…Where do ya wanna meet?”
03/07/05 – Laydonna Knighten from Odessa, DE: I still think Mark is Gregg Turkington because he makes up words on his prank calls. Like Smega picknick. He says Kumlinga or something as well. As far as the Charlie Knighten call, I bet he was pranking them for a while. I think he’s saying her name, Laydonna. Laydonna’s loos or something. “You call your white people” “You’d better believe that! I wish I could see you. I’d beat some of that faggot out of you.” He’s sick…
03/06/05 – poor white trash from melan bank from garfield drive: the first question was in reference to the amanda white prank……..after he tells him “just hang up”……..what the hell does he say??????????????———Don’t you make head or tails of this?
03/04/05 – Keifer from La: I’ve heard all of them except “Sleeping”, “Pretty Clever, Eh?” and “Retroactive Waste”. All of the others I’m sure is Mark. If the ones I’ve just listed are, in fact, Mark I would like to hear them ASAP.
03/04/05 – poor white trash from melan bank: Does anyone know what knopfler says at 4:55 (four minutes and 55 seconds)? it sounds like yoom-linga–but what the hell is that?…..if anybody knows, please post it and also, if anyone has received a copy from someone on this site, can u list their credibility on here?———don’t you make heads or tails of this? you somva bitch you, whatchoo,ooh you, who you talkin to?——————and does anyone know what he tells her that Charlie told him…at 1:42,3,4….don’t be talkin about my mama
03/04/05 – RiledUpJack from north McDonalds: There used to be a whole bunch of pranks on this site that WERE NOT KNOPF–they have been removed and ALL of the pranks listed currently ARE MARK——–she ain’t fu*kin’ married
03/02/05 – Your Name from Your Location: For those who think that some of these calls aren’t Knopfler – you haven’t heard the entire tape. All of these lsited are Knopfler, and there are several more. Wish I knew who he was, however. Tape’s been around for about 16 years, but it seems to self-destruct – Myself and about ten other buddies had it, but mystreiously, we all somehow lost them.
03/01/05 – Shpilkus from San Diego, CA: The Knopfler calls terminated in and around the northern Delaware/southern New Jersey area. Totally unclear of origination, however. We were so rapt by these calls back in ’90/’91 that we even called a couple of the people he called just to laugh at them – Knighton and one of the chicks – I think the “Marijuana Plant” girl…oh, and Amanda White, of course. So who is this guy? He is a HUGE influence on popular prank calling culture and otherwise…??
02/28/05 – Jacob from Houston: Hey Lynwood, I got those erector sets, and I put christmas lights all around them just like you said. Pretty clever ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh little chum? That’s so Neil Hamburger.
02/28/05 – jacob T. from Houston TX: One interesting thing about what Howard was saying. I did go onto Neil Hamburger’s site. I wrote down something about Charlie Knighten, Betsy Hawkins, and Amanda White. He jerked that shit off of his website fast. He normally leaves that shit up. Pretty clever eh kevimetal?
02/28/05 – Keifer from La: “Heeeyyy, get Margaret immediately if not sooner or I’ll be forced to kill you”
02/25/05 – She didint say she was married! from at the putty divison: http://www.acidplanet.com/artist.asp?PID=290493&T=6464
02/25/05 – CraigII from Putty division N. ofOdess: Is this a joke? Are you just kidding around?
02/24/05 – Craig, from work from Grand Rapids: My friends and I still use the vernacular today. I cant look at a menu without mentioning filet mignon, broiled lobster tail, corn-on-the-cob, and marinated zucchini. Just the other day my wife told me a friend called, and I said “what, call back you want?” And for anyone that has the tapes, are you gonna be in those tapes, with your pussy?
02/24/05 – Craig, from work from Grand Rapids: I first got a copy of this tape in about 93 while at Michigan State. I can absolutely confirm that the calls were made in Delaware. We determined that the cities mentioned (Odessa, Cheswold) were in Delaware. We went to our library and looked up the phone books for those cities on microfiche. Sure enough, there was Charlie Knighton, the Coral Reef, etc. We even called a few of the people (from a payphone), and the did not seem to be pleased, but we couldn’t lure them in like MK did.
02/22/05 – Freddy from Houston TX: Hey Arlon, quit bossing people around. Just because you’ve got cancer doesn’t mean that you can be a kill joy. GOD! Think of all of the weight you’ll lose in KEMO. Will the real mark knofler please stand up?
02/18/05 – Arlon S. from D.C.: However, if he is still marketing the cd, these crimes mount. In any case, I think that the department of justice has bigger fish to try that prank callers. You know? like terrorists and shit…how about Osama Bin Laden? God…It sucks have Hoshkins disease.
02/18/05 – Arlon Spector from D.C.\ PA: Mk won’t come forward because of legal issues. I browsed through the Federal Wiretapping Statute, and the Statutes of Limitations has run for the crime. I’m pretty sure that MK didn’t get these folks’ consent! Also, any tort crimes would have also run depending on the state. He could come out if he wanted too. Make a website like the Tube Bar guys.
02/18/05 – Howard Hughes from L.A.: You know…kevi.metal… I think that you may be right. However, I don’t think GT stole anything from MK. They were made about the same time. Goodwill games (In MK) and the change from new Coke original classic happened around the same time (In great phone calls). As far as accents go, accents change. And, GT does have a wierd one which you can’t place really. GK’s voice is much higher than MKs. However, if you listen to Neil Hamburger, his voice is pretty low now. I don’t know???
02/18/05 – kevimetal from USA: oh yeh, I forgot to mention: http://www.kevimetal.com/amandawhite.html
02/16/05 – Kevimetal from USA: hey Howard Hughes, I checked out Gregg, and I have to disagree with your conclusions. Although I can see what you’re saying about some of the things he says (and the phrases he uses), this guy is calling in the Bay Area, and his accent isn’t even CLOSE to MK’s. Also, it just sounds like a totally different guy to me. If anything, I think Gregg stole some lines from the real master, Mark Knopfler! MK tape has been around since the late 80’s!
02/15/05 – Martin from Delaware: I listened to the Neil Hamburger calls, and in my opinion it sounds like a different guy. No of course I could be wrong and I fallen for some local “urban legend”. But nobody I know has ever doubted it. When I first heard the tapes I was told this is my friend “so and so” from Dover goofing around. Next time I see some of the folks that know this guy I will ask what they think he feels about his anonimity. Sorry I dont feel comfortable just yet giving out his name.
02/14/05 – J.R. Holdeman from Hell: I think Howard is right. It does sound like Gregg. Turkington is always good for a laugh with a witty comeback. Like…Tricks are for kids…
02/14/05 – Howard Hughes from LA: Hey Kevi Metal. Here’s something to add to your research. Great Phone Calls by Gregg Turkington. Check it out on Amazon.com or something. It’s the same voice…same accent…same delivery even… That’s about all the proof I’ve got. Maybe, Gregg is from Delewar. I know he lives in LA now. “I got you riled up, Jack” lol
02/13/05 – kevimetal from USA: if you want a real clincher that I don’t want to publish here, email me at the username I used here at yahoo.com (not typing my email address out here to avoid spam-bots)
02/13/05 – kevimetal from USA: Hey Howard Hughes, can you offer some proof? (actually, it doesn’t matter, I sure I’m right). Here are a few facts: Mark has a Delaware accent. Fact: he mentions several towns and places in Delaware in the calls (this might be more obvious to people who live(d) there. Fact: by listening to the calls and using the most basic detective skills and tools on the web, you can find some of his victims. Offer some proof if you’re gonna dispute my reserach.
02/13/05 – Howard Hughes from LA: You guys are full of crap. MK is Gregg Turkington! HOwever, he won’t admit it because he’s got this Andy Kaufman/Tony Clifton thing going. Gregg Turkington is Neil Hamburger/Mark Knofler/And, Dude from Great Phone Calls. Here are some facts. Gregg Turkington is a known phone prankster. His prime for prank phone calls was around this time. Plus, he traveled around while performing and managing bands from the bay area. This would give him plenty of time to do these calls all over America.
02/13/05 – Keifer from La: C’mon, give up his name and location Martin from Delaware. I want to interview this guy.
02/11/05 – Martin from Delaware: M.K. is a friend of a good friend of mine (of course I know his name but I wont divulge it here), He is definitely from Delaware. I actually haven’t had the pleasure to meet the guy but from what I’ve gathered he is one of the coolest most laid back guy you’d ever want to meet…nothing like the obnoxious persona of Mark Knopfler. I heard the tape sometime in the late 80s.
02/10/05 – Matt from Hollywood, CA: I had this tape back in the late 80’s in Fairfax, VA and it was the greatest thing I ever heard at such a young age. Come to think of it, it is still great. I am amazed to see how popular this stuff is and how widespread it became. It goes to show you that this type of shit is what people really care about. LOL. I am so glad that someone puts these calls on a website, because I lost my tape. I would love to hear the other calls this guy made. I only had Amanda White/Charlie Knighten.
02/07/05 – Lynwood Wiley from Putty Division: got em all now… transfered and mixed.. firstname.lastname@example.org
02/07/05 – Henry K. from D.C.: Whoever, M.K. is…He probably doesn’t want to be unmasked since he actually put the victims’ real names in the tape. You know that every Charlie Knighten, Betsy Hawkins, and Amanda White from D.C. to L.A. has been harrassed on the telephone. haha At least Gregg Turkington didn’t let out the names on Great Phone Calls. hahahaha
02/07/05 – Keifer from LA: If what kevimetal says is true, this could be a start in pinpointing this guy. WTG, man.
02/06/05 – George Mitchell from DC: Yeah, Gregg Turkington is a known prankster around that time. He’s been all over the US in bands and shit. He could have very easily made the calls anywhere at anytime. I think that he lives in LA right now. LA or S.F. Maybe Culver City.
02/04/05 – kevimetal from USA: …(con’t) he mentions “McDonalds north”, which would be the McDonalds at the intersection of Rt 13 and rt 273, north of Odessa, DE. He’s not from Cleveland, he’s NOT from Odessa, TX, it’s Odessa DELAWARE. God help me, I grew up there.
02/04/05 – kevimetal from USA: This is the deal about where this guy is from. I don’t know who he is, but anyone who claims he is from anywhere else but from what I’m about to write is mislead. This guy has a Delaware (US state) accent, CLEARLY. He talks about working in Odessa, and there are several mentions of other towns in the central/southern delaware area. In fact, if you hit SuperPages.com, you can look up Charlie Knighten and see that there is one and the same listed in Dover Delaware. On the Amanda White call…
02/03/05 – G. Gorden Liddy from D.C.: That wasn’t very nice, you swedish prick. I wish you left your number so that I could prank you. I’d get you rilled up, Jack. hahahaha
02/03/05 – julenissen from nordpolen: fuck you. du fÃƒÂ¥r ikke gava i ÃƒÂ¥r
02/01/05 – tom b from columbus: a buddy of mine, larry budai, from cleveland is a good friend of mark knoffler he has told me his real name before but i forget. larrys # is 216-324-0202.
02/01/05 – Harry Hunt from DC: Curley is Gregg Turkington. Where are you from, Curley? Culver City? hahahahahaha
02/01/05 – Harry Hunt from D.C.: UHHH… Mark Knoffler is too greg turkington. Have you listened to the tapes? It’s the same guy, and it was made around the same time as great phone calls! They should the exact same. You’re probably Gregg Turkington himself trying to dodge this. hahahah
01/31/05 – tony from pittsburgh: i first heard the tapes back in 1994, i heard that he was from a town outside of pittsburgh (butler) and i also heard that he served jail time as well for the pranks. they’re funny as shit though and i still enjoy them to this day!!!
01/30/05 – nick from cincinnati: If anyone has a copy will purchase email me at email@example.com
01/30/05 – YerWifeRight from NE Ohio: I have a knoplfer tape I obtained in the summer of 88 or 89 when i was 10 or 11,it contains all the ones on the missing list except for model release forms and the ones after that…the tape i have is awesome tho….the voices are slowed down a bit, but ti’s so fun to listen to after having it for 16 or 17 years
01/30/05 – Twisted J from GTA: Mark is awesome! Skank Bangaz listens to it all the time….http://www.acidplanet.com/artist.asp?AID=337952&T=1680
01/28/05 – Remo from Atlanta, GA: WOW! Hade some great memories listening to this back in the day. My friends Mike M, Dave C, Dave N, Buddy K, Larry B, Jeff L and some other usual suspects back at PECHS in Farmville, VA tripped out and used some of Mark’s verbage. I’m going to pass this site on to some of my partners in crime.
01/25/05 – Curley from Los Angeles: The Mark Knopfler tapes are NOT Gregg Turkington. Different guy. He did do the “Great Phone Calls” tapes though.
01/25/05 – Joe Smith from Tulsa OK: Get them focals on so you can see me! hahahaha
01/22/05 – Joe Smith from Tulsa OK: You guys are nutts. This guy is Gregg Turkington. That’s to say that Mark K is Greg. If you liked these tapes, just get his Great Phone Calls. lol He’s also Neil Hamburger. A standup comedian who tells bad jokes…They are so bad, they are funny. hahahahah
01/17/05 – satan from hell: mark knofler will inherit the throne
01/12/05 – JB from Washington DC: Anyone with the original calls on a CD PLEASE contact me. Will trade or purchase! firstname.lastname@example.org
01/05/05 – Bessy Hawkins from LA: ps — Oh, one more thing….”I didn’t knock her up. You try to say some shit like that and you’ll find yourself in trouble partner.”
01/05/05 – Bessy Hawkins from LA: There are alot of calls that you have listed on this page that are not Mark Knofler’s. It is a different guy. I know cause I know the guy that made did the calls. It looks like you have 2 of his calls. “That’s my Wife” and “Carve My Initials”….The others, I don’t know who they are but they aren’t Mark Knofler.
01/04/05 – Keifer from LA: I have a cd with 17 of his pranks on it. I really hope there are more out there somewhere. …..I also would like to find out who the guy really was. It seems so ridiculous that after all these years, no one has come out and exposed him. Maybe he never told anybody…………
12/22/04 – Lynwood Wiley from Germany: I have 11 of the ones not available above. I really don’t think all the ones available are Mark Knopler. The one’s I have are hard-core Mark Knofler rescued from the basement storage, ran through a 16 channel mixer, and noise gate. This tape is re-mastered the best it could be given it was a tape sittin around for 10 years. Want it? Come get some…. email@example.com….. get in touch….
12/22/04 – Mike from Los Angeles: This guy is something of a celebrity. This tape surfaced during my freshamn year of college and within a matter of months it was all over the place. Since then it has brought joy to many people and we still listen to it after all these years.
12/13/04 – J. Epperson from Birmingham, AL: Dennis! your killing me! Anyone! I need a copy of the erector sets and retroactive waste… Somebody, please get in touch. firstname.lastname@example.org
12/11/04 – Dennis from Brunswick, GA: I have the “Please Try To Pay Attention” Tape. I aquired it at Georgia Southern University in 1989-1990. It was on a tape with the “Amanda White” call. Everybody had a copy that year. The next year nobody had the tape. I managed to keep mine I will make digital versions soon for the good of the world.
12/08/04 – Matt from Atlanta, ga: I had a tape in the early ’90’s. I can’t tell you how many times I listened to it. I’ve got find the “Goodwill Games” call. It is a classic. Would love to know where to get it.
12/07/04 – Smegma from New Orleans: I got a copy of this tape around 90 I suppose from a friend. I still have a copy. I will get it out to someone who wants to remaster it. I had spoken w/bchil once in email before but we lost contact way back when.
12/05/04 – J. Epperson from email@example.com: I had this tape around’90-;91 in Birmingham. It had the retroactive waste and erector set one. Does anybody have a copy of it? Please get in touch with me
11/22/04 – Admiral W from Huntsville AL: I had a tape of these in 92 that I got at U. of Alabama. I agree that only the first and last on the mp3 list are originals. I remember many on the list of clips that you don’t yet have. When I got out of the Navy I tried to hunt down that tape and never could find it. I hope you can find the Charlie Knighten and Retroactive Waste calls. All the real MK calls are priceless. When you get more of the real ones you need to separate them from the others as you see fit.
11/03/04 – John from Terre Haute, IN: I recieved this blank tape a long time ago in 1989 or so. I’m originally from kentucky. Not sure how it would’ve wound up there, but I’ve noticed abunch of people from Kentucky on here and thought the person may be from down there. Gotta be the best underground prank call shit ever made. This is coming from the prank call “king.” P.S. You been to the Goodwill games lately?
11/03/04 – Joe from D.C.: these calls have been around FOREVER… I have some on tape somewhere still… so far the only ones of these that have been REAL mark knophler calls are the first and last ones, however almost all of the ones that there are descriptions of ARE real… pretty sure Mark was from Texas, and possibly went to jail for his crimes…
11/01/04 – Greg from Richmond, VA: I first got the tape from my older brother in Lynchburg, VA. I ended up passing out bootleg copies to most of my high school (Virginia Episcopal). I’ve honestly never laughed so hard. I’ll always remember listening to the tape in the van on away sports trips.
07/05/04 – Kentucky Guy from Kentucky: The Mark Knopfler tapes were circulating on the University of Kentucky campus in Lexington, Kentucky during the 1989-90 school year. I know that because I heard them there during that year. Also your site says the tapes were from Pennsylvania; we always thought they were from Texas. In one (Amanda White I think) he says he’s in Odessa, which is a city in Texas. Sounds Texan enough, too.
07/04/04 – Zev from Charleston, sc: I first got this tape at college of charleston in 93 when a freshman and stole it from my then roomate joe, or park, who i think were gay for each other….either way all the clips that you are missing seem to be the ones that made up most of that tape…..also there was some duck flies at midnight prank….that wasnt mark…oh well….cheers……Zev
06/28/04 – David from Ashcroft: Mark now lives in Citrus County, Florida. Fact.
06/17/04 – Heather from Imlay City, MI: I used to have “The Tape”. I made copies for everyone in my high school almost 10 years ago. Now I can’t find any copy of it…I need it desperately….funniest thing I ever heard
06/14/04 – tony from chesapeake, va: how can i purchase a copy of this. i’ve lost my only tape a few years ago and have been trying to find it ever since. any info or help?
06/08/04 – Billy B from Chicago: Great site, but hell if that “We Are Toys” call is Mark. Sounds like Amanda White’s husband.
06/08/04 – Kevin from Fairfax, Virginia: The first time I heard this was 1992. My friend’s older brother had a copy he had been listening to for about a year. I can’t remember how many times I’ve laughed at those calls. How astonishing this is the only Mark Knopfler site.
05/30/04 – Mark from Dallas, TX: I got a copy of this tape as a wedding gift from on of my groomsmen (roommate at UT). We laughed for hours at the “Amanda White” and “Charlie Knighten” calls. It was known simply as “The Tape.” Funny shit to bust out on a road trip. I loved watching Newbies hear it for the first time. Freaking Priceless!
05/12/04 – Greg from South Carolina: The “Amanda White” and “Charlie Knighten” bits were given to me on a cassette tape when I was a sophomore at the University of South Carolina in the fall of 1990. We probably spent a year rehashing the quotes in them!
05/10/04 – cid from bowling green, KY: i’ve been hearing the mark knopfler calls from various sources for the last 8 years… and just recently, i heard the Neil Hamburger cd, “Great Phone Calls”…. is it just me or does Neil Hamburger (a.k.a. Greg Turkington) sound a little like Mark Knopfler? Could the Mark Knopfler thing be another one of Greg Turkington’s endeavors?
04/23/04 – boom-boom from NC: I received a tape with three calls on it while living in Virginia in 1991. The guy who turned me onto it was from Montana.
03/21/04 – bchil from scottsadle,az: I used to run the old BCHIL.NET site. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more infor on how to get a copy of this CD. It seems there are many calls by him that I do not have. i would love to get a copy of some of his earlier work.
03/15/04 – Chief from Boston: Mark Knopfler tapes were cirulating in my high school in New Haven, CT around 1991-92…later, when I went to college, there were guys there from New York, New Jersey, and Massachusetts who were familiar with Knopfler…
01/14/2001 from Charlie Knighten in Cleveland, OH: Back in 1989, I was at John Carroll University in Cleveland. I remember a group of guys who lived on the third floor of Sutowski Hall making prank phone calls everyday (these are the days before caller ID). There was one guy who lived up there from the East Coast. Rumor is that he made most of the calls and went by the AKA of Mark Knophler because the first time someone asked his name on the phone, he picked up a Dire Strits tape and said the now famous phrase …”My name is Mark, Mark Knophler, Please try to pay attention!” The way I heard it, most of these calls were made back in Mark’s hometown over spring break in 1989 to entertain his frat buddys back in Cleveland. Do you have any insight on this claim? By the end of 1989-1990, half of the campus had this tape as did the entire East end of Cleveland. You couldn’t go to a party without hearing it.(this is a comment taken from the old bchil.net site)