- Postage on the everything is $1.00 no matter how many stickers you order. Never enclose more than $1.00 for stickers unless you're ordering other things. Postage on the PLA Media CDs is also just $1.00 no matter how many you order. If you order 800 Media CDs, thousands of stickers, 17 buttons and a single issue of Phoneloser Monthly, your postage is just $1.00. Okay??
- Currently, these postage rates are good for both U.S. and Canadian orders. If you're ordering from another country just enclose what you think is fair and we'll refund the difference or pay for the extra shipping costs ourselves. Well, unless the shipping ends up being like $15.00, then we'll send your order back to you. But so far people in other countries have used common sense and this hasn't been a problem for us.
Make all checks & money orders payable to "Alex Carter." If you make your check or money order out to "Phone Losers of America" your order will be returned to you. To keep costs down we don't have a bank account for the PLA and therefore we can't accept checks made out to PLA.
Send your order to:
Phone Losers of America
P.O. Box 465
Albany, OR 97321
CHECK: Checks should be made out to "Alex Carter" and should be in U.S. funds only. So far we've only had ONE returned check since we started accepting orders in 1996 so we never wait for checks to clear before shipping orders. We do sometimes call the bank and confirm that the account is open and has enough money in it but that only takes a few minutes of time.
MONEY ORDERS: Money orders should also be made out to "Alex Carter" and in U.S. funds only. You can pick up a money order at your local post office and at most convenience stores, usually for under $1.00.
CASH: Yes, we will accept cash but we don't recommend it. But if you're too lazy to go out and get a money order then using cash may be the way to go. We've been getting cash orders for years now and so far there's never been a problem with it. But if your mail gets lost or stolen then we can't be responsible for it. Be sure to wrap your cash inside paper so it's not visible by holding the envelope up to the light.
CREDIT CARD: Currently we do NOT accept credit cards. We do have the capability to take credit cards but don't think it would be a good idea considering that our site has all kinds of articles and instructions on credit card fraud. We just don't trust you hacker types! But there's always Pay Pal! (see below)
PAYPAL: Want to pay with your credit card? We accept orders from paypal.com. All you have to do is set up a PayPal account, email your order to us and then pay us from your PayPal account. Send your payments to email@example.com when you get to the "send money" screen. Or you can just send the money with the PayPal form and include your order and shipping address in the "notes" section. If you don't have PayPal yet, you can sign up for it by clicking here. Just don't forget to include your shipping address when emailing an order to us.
IN PERSON: NO, I will NOT let you come to my house and pay me in person for your PLA merchandise. People have seriously tried to arrange this with me because they were going to be in town. I don't want to do that, it's creepy, okay?? I also will not fly across the country to your house to take your money and give you your merchandise. Sorry.
OTHER METHODS?: Would you like to suggest that we take another form of payment? Email your suggestion to firstname.lastname@example.org and it will be considered.
How long does it take to recieve my order?: Orders are shipped out usually within 24 hours of receipt (note the usually). Remember that it takes 2 to 4 days to send your order across the country, a day for processing and another 2 to 4 days to send it back to you. So don't freak out when your order doesn't arrive 24 hours after you mail it out. The quickest way to get your order is to use the PayPal option above. Keep in mind that we sometimes go on weekend vacations so if an order arrives on a Friday we may not get it until the following Monday or Tuesday. This is rarely a problem but sometimes orders are delayed because we're not here to get them.
What if you just keep my money and don't ship me anything?: We've been in business since 1996 and so far have had no complaints from anyone. Unfortunately we really have no way to prove that our intentions here are honest so you'll just have to trust us. If you ask around in various h/p forums, you may come across someone else who has ordered from us in the past to see if they were satisfied customers.
You've got my home address now. What do you do with that?: We usually keep the order forms for a few years and then throw them away. Until they're thrown away they sit in a filing cabinet and do nothing. Your address is not sold to anyone or shared with anyone. If you're paranoid about us having your address, have your order sent to a friend or relative's house who can give it to you. When our 2nd CD was released, we did sent mailers out to all the people who had ordered the 1st CD to let them know that it was out. We MIGHT do that again someday but currently have no plans to.
What do you do with all the money you make here?: Believe it or not, phonelosers.org is a non-profit organization. Everything we make we put back into the site by purchasing advertising space on other sites, in magazines and newspapers. We also use profits to pay for new products that we sell on this site. We keep records on all orders and all expenses and our goal each year is to break even. Last year (1999) our total profit for the year after all the advertising was just $40. Even if we suddenly start getting a LOT of oders we will most likely try to remain non-profit.
What if I end up hating the product I order or what if it's damaged?: We try to put as much information about what we sell as we can think of so that the customer knows exactly what it is they're buying. But if you have a problem with anything you've recieved, just get in touch with us (email is probably the best way) and we probably wouldn't have a problem refunding or replacing your product as long as you haven't damaged it yourself. So far we've never run into this kind of problem so I have to assume that people are either happy with our products or just too lazy to complain about it. If your product is damaged as a result of the post office's poor handling, we will replace it. We ship CDs in padded envelopes and crystals are wrapped in thick paper so they're not damaged.
Can you mail my package discreetly?: If you would prefer that we don't stamp "Phone Losers of America" on the envelope your product arrives in, then explain this on the order form in the "Notes or Instructions" area. We can leave the return address area blank or we can put a name in it's place along with our P.O. Box address. Or whatever, just let us know and we'll try to accomodate you.
Oh no, I have a question that's not answered here! What do I do???: If you have any questions about anything, just e-mail us and we'll get back to you as soon as possible.