Freeze! Brad Kerr, State Policeman

Okay, now I was minding my own business and chatting in a local IRC chatroom.
The room was rather empty so I decided to try and get a few more local people
in the room by searching for locals on ICQ and inviting them to chat. So I
whipped out my handy ICQ and searched for people who were currently online in
a few select cities around here.

I more or less said the same thing to each of them which was to explain that
we were having our weekly local chat and gave them the URL. People would
either ignore me, say “no thanks” or they would join our chat room. In the
end we got an extra 5 or 6 people in the room which was great. Then a guy
with the ICQ nick of “Brad” says, “Do not message me again or I will turn you
in to icq.” I figured this guy was either really stupid or just kidding
around with me. Well anyway, here are the chat logs from my ICQ on 11/11/99.

RBCP: Hey, you have time to chat right now? We’ve got an Alton area chat
going at http://www.alton-online.com/bbs/chat.html if you’re up to it.
I’m trying to get some more people in there.

BRAD: Do not message me again or I will turn you in to icq

RBCP: Hey, you have time to chat right now? We’ve got an Alton area chat
going at http://www.alton-online.com/bbs/chat.html if you’re up to it.
I’m trying to get some more people in there. So there.

BRAD: You better stop or I’m turning you in!!!!!!!!!!!

RBCP: Oh dear I’m sorry!

BRAD: You don’t want to piss me off. It’s not very smart putting your phone
# on your icq info. If you want to play I will advertise your phone #
all over the web – in gay classifieds.

RBCP: Hehe, go ahead if it’ll make you feel better. Do a search for me on
infoseek and you’ll get my cell phone number too. You might try
lightening up a little, though.

Weird, eh? I still wasn’t sure if he was kidding around or not. I pasted a
few things he said to me in the IRC chatroom and we laughed about it. Some
girl asked me what the guy’s name was so I checked ICQ and told her that he
had Brad Kerr listed for his info and it showed him living in Bethalto, IL
and being 20 years old.

So this girl tells me that she used to go to school with him and he was a
student at SIUE in Edwardsville. I decide I’ll try to get him to say some
more goofy things at me and I succeed!

RBCP: So tell me mister vigilante, why do I not want to piss you off?

BRAD: I am a state cop, and I have your #. I just called my boss to run
your #, and told him what was going on.

RBCP: State cops are retarded. I have proof.

RBCP: So is your boss as cool as you are?

RBCP: So you pull my report yet, state cop?

RBCP: Well?? I’m waiting for you to ruin my life.

Obviously he’s full of it. But even if he was a state cop what was he
planning to do? Have me arrested for inviting him to a local chatroom and
then being a smartass after he threatened to turn my information over to the
gay classifieds? So a few days later I’m using the computer again and
Colleen Card has her ICQ account running. So I look up Brad and see that
he’s on again and decide to have some fun with him once again.

RBCP: Hi there. A friend told me that you were a state cop and could run
police reports on people. Can you run a report for me? I’m female
and I’m really cute. This asshole’s name is Brad Carter and he msgs
me all the time.

RBCP: Brad? Are you there? You’re not answering my ICQs?

BRAD: yes I am here.

BRAD: What do you want and why are you messaging me.

RBCP: Didn’t you get my previous message? Word has it that you run police
reports!@# Can you hook me up, tough guy?

BRAD: With what?

RBCP: Well this asshole Brad Carter keeps msging me trying to get me to join
his lame-ass chatroom in Alton. So I thought maybe you could either
run his file for me or maybe post his info onto gay websites since you
seem to know a lot about those. How about it?

RBCP: Aren’t you going to answer me?

BRAD: No I will do nothing like that, and it seems on your info.
that you belong to the same club – Phone Losers of America.

RBCP: Oh no, you know that we’re both in the same clubhouse! How’d you
figure this out??!?!

BRAD: what is this club?

RBCP: I dunno, you said we were in a club so I was just entertaining
that comment. So what’s it like to be a state cop? Are they paying for
your SUIE tuition?

RBCP: Hey man, you a slow typer? Can you teach me how to post someone’s phone
number on a gay web site? That’s sounds so innovative!

RBCP: Are you finished writing down my user info yet?

And that’s more or less the end of it. I think Brad probably put me on his ICQ
ignore list because he never responds to me anymore. I did find out a few
different ways to contact him if anyone wants to ask him to run police reports
or whatever. It turns out that he’s actually a janitor at a local elementary
school but to give the poor guy a break I’m not going to post the number to
Parkside Elementary School in Bethalto, IL nor will I give out his extention
number. (Anyone know what 100 plus 55 equals?) At the time, his ICQ number was 28428522.